It was the same usual days of my college life with regular
classes, projects, labs and seminars when I saw him for the
first time. Tall, dusky with shabbily trimmed moustache,
white shirt n denim jeans. I felt as if my heart had just
moved out of its place thudding hard. At first I felt like
it was a crush as my feelings were just bursting out of
nowhere. My eyes were just caught and I wanted to talk to
him. But he was junior to me and my mouth was shut due to
junior senior spacing in college which didn’t let me speak
out to him.
Since that day, my eyes started searching him whenever it
got a chance. Those were the unknown baby steps towards an
unusual love story. Ever since I saw him, I wished I could
just talk to him. At first it seemed like a crush but then I
realized with time that each passing time I began to like
him more and more and I don’t even remember when it turned
into love. I could not express my feelings to him and how my
heart felt for him and at the same time I just kept on
thinking about him day and night.
Finally whether I was lucky enough or was coincidence don’t
know but I got a chance to talk to him. There was a project
in which both of us had to work together. He was kind of
unsocialising but that didn’t make me worry because being
with him did not push me to talk to him I just wanted him to
be with me. He never talked to me but we just exchanged
glances at each other. He never called me by my name or
anything just gave me signals and I could very well
understand that. While working together also he was so
perfectly perfect that I couldn’t find him making a single
mistake. Finally the projects were over and the day came for
which we were awaiting for so long and for the first time I
was so close to him that I could even feel his breath. And
the very touch of his breath was as if he had taken me all
into his embrace with his long strong arms.
Our mission was a grand success. This was the first good
news. The other came the next day. He asked me to be his
date for the prom! It was like a dream come true. I was so
very happy that I had to pinch myself several times to make
sure that I was not sleeping or dreaming. We went to the
prom. That was the happiest night of my life. We danced and
for the first time I saw him laughing with me. After that he
dropped me home. I was all in smiles but he still looked
grave and a bit shaky. He kissed my cheek and hugged me hard
and went away without a word.
The next day I went to the college but he did not come. I
called him several times but he did not receive my call. I
did not know whom to ask for he did not have friends. I also
did not know where to search for. One day passed, then
another, then another. In this way a whole year passed away.
I still waited for him to come back. But the years started
flying quickly and soon it was almost more than 3 years. I
had already graduated. I missed him hard and every night I
cried myself to sleep.
One day when I returned from work I saw a large brown box
tied in jute strings. There was no name of the sender. Just
my name and address. I got curious to know. I opened it and
there were huge stacks of paper. At first I thought it to be
a rude joke but then I saw that those were not blank pages.
Instead they were letters addressed to me. Starting from the
day I and he started to work together. And every letter said
the same thing. How much in love he was with me. I cried
with every letter. There were a total of 1430 letters.
He had been writing to me since last 3 years and 11 months.
The last letter was dated a month ago. And this too said the
same. But the next shocking papers were his medical reports.
He was diagnosed with brain tumor and he left for US the
night he last said good bye. He was going for a radiation
therapy and it was not sure if he would ever return. One by
one everything flashed into my mind. He never liked to
create a bond of friendship. He never refused to help
anyone. He was so good just very reserved. No one ever asked
why and he never reasoned it. The last hug was to feel me
within him. He wanted to feel me for the last time so that
he could cherish the memories for ever till the day he dies.
The next letter was written by his parents. They thanked me.
For it was because of my love that he wanted to live. Every
night before sleeping he prayed to lengthen his life so that
he could get well soon and go back and claim his love. It
was for my love that he survived for three and a half years.
The letter went on saying that his last wish was to deliver
these letters to you and apologize to you for leaving you
alone when you needed him so badly and that he says that
this time the life was short. In the next birth he has asked
god to grant him a long life so that he could do everything
that he wanted to do for me in this life.
There came the last letter again from him. It said that he
too felt the connection between us but was too scared to
accept. He did not want me to weep for him before time. All
this time he wanted to see me happy. He tried hard not to
fall in love but he could not help it and that was his
biggest mistake. It read that if falling in love with me was
his mistake then he is ready to commit such a mistake
without any regret. It said that he was ready to exchange
all his next births if only he could get a chance to live
with me for one life time.
I could not speak a word except cry, feel sad that he is no
more, or happy that he loved me. It was all very confusing.
Just the sweet memories of the time when we were together.
The mesmerizing memories of Piya and Varun.