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Real Life Love Stories

My Story

by Grace Charlton


Love in life has not treated me well recently. I am currently a college student and my boyfriend dumped me about a month and a half ago. We had been dating for almost five years (all of high school) and we had been living together for almost a year. Everything was perfectly fine. We would talk about getting married and having kids and all of our lives together. Then one day, out of the blue, he dumped me. He claimed that he had not been happy with me for several months, although I doubted this as we seemed to be really happy. I could deal with that though. What I couldn't deal with was when I found out the real reason he left me a few days later.


He had met another girl at work and left me to be with her. They had been talking about it during the week before he left me. I found a note that was laying in our apartment from her (I had not yet moved out). She talked about what an idiot I was and how she agrees that he should be with her. After we broke up, he had sworn up and down that he wasn't interested in her and that's not why he left me. But he lied.


I didn't understand how he could so easily throw me away and forget me after five years, and I still don't. I don't understand how he can not care about how badly it hurt me and well, just not care in general.


I lost my faith in love. The thought of going out and finding someone else really terrifies me, and I don't really believe in any truly love anymore anyway. The only place I've ever seen it is in movies and books. I thought I had it, but I was wrong.


It hurts so bad to think of him moving on with her. Of him being with her. While I feel like I've done a good job of dealing with it, I'm still so angry. I don't miss him anymore, nor do I love him or ever want him back. But I am so overwhelmingly angry and I don't know how to express it, to get it out. I wish that I could confront him about how much he hurt me, but I know he wouldn't care and that would just hurt me all over again. I truly feel hate when I think of him, and I don't like that feeling. I try to be a very nice and happy person, but now it feels like I have a big black hole inside me, consuming me.

I've never felt any sort of anger or hatred to this degree, and I am looking for a good source for it. If I could find a way to deal with that, I would be okay. But I haven't found that yet. If you ask me, love is a joke and not to be trusted. I would love to believe differently, as I used to be a hopeless romantic, but I just can't.
 

 

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