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Memories of him......................
I was in first year college when I saw him. It was the time
when he almost have a serious injury from falling. He was
dress as an angel during Siglakas(intramurals) in our
school, one of our biggest event. I was looking through a
balcony when all of a sudden I saw him unconsciuosly lying
on the grass. There was no affection. I even thought that he
died or probably paralyzed. I never gave importance during
that event. One year later we became classmate. I barely
noticed him.
It was during
our internship in the hospital that we became friends. I
thought of him as child trap in man’s world. As days goes by
he became more impressive. He is indeed intelligent. He have
flaws like any normal human being on this planet. He don’t
wash his clothes and he used it again during the next day.
He is handsome but he stink . After knowing how he smell I
usually stay away from him. I often notice his flaws but
beyond it there is something greater that made me realize. I
was stupid at that time. I believe so much in fairy tales
like some young child hoping for a fairy tale ending. During
our third year college we sometimes send friendly messages.
I even invited him in my birthday unfortunately he didn’t
come.
I have few
suitors during that time. It was summer when he send me a
message in that said he loved me. At first I was surprised.
I never expected those words. I called him to clarify what
he said. I guess I used wrong choice of words. I ask him if
he want to be my boyfriend and he said yes. This is just the
beginning of a more complicated events that happened in my
college life. It was during our immersion when everything
became clear to me. The first day we arrived in a moutain
province in an old house. Our clinical instructor ask if
there were people who were in a relationship in our group.
There was no response from him. It made me sad. I feel being
rejected. Days pass by and our clinical instructor noticed
me. He said why I hardly smile and always alone. I hardly
talk to anyone during at that time except from my only
closest friend.
I told our
clinical instructor that I’m always this way even during in
the campus but the truth was my heart felt like it has been
ripped in two. I tried to shunned him then everybody noticed
there was something wrong between us. Unresolved conflict
without disclosure. Our clinical instructor ask what was
going on between us. He told our clinical instructor during
the time when I was out of sight that it was only a joke. A
game he never intend to hurt me but he did hurt me. I was
badly shaken when my close friend told me about what he said
and the next thing I knew everybody knew about us.
Two weeks in
our immersion I feel like being grilled infront of the
crowd. One day there was a brownout. Everthing was dark. I
was upstairs lying on the floor listening to a mellow music.
He went upstairs because our clinical instructor told him so
to look for mewow. I told to him stay away from me but no
words seem to came out from his mouth he quietly lie beside
me. I tried to push him away but it was futile. He did say
sorry through a note but my heart is still aching.During our
last night we have our open forum. This was the time when I
made a fool of myself. I told everyone how much I loved him
beyond his flaws. He was no gentleman. I never remembered he
was. I told everyone how much he means to me knowing I
already knew the answer that I was rejected. All I knew it
was a game.
Months pass by
and we became friends. I hardly show how I care for him. I
act cool like any normal girl will do but the truth was I
still care for him. After our graduation I thought I will
never see him but I was wrong. He was a june taker as well
as I am. When he settle for inhouse review I never went for
inhouse review. I wanted to be away from him as much as
possible. After the last day of our board exam I saw him. I
just say “hi” then I went with my friend. After the result
he was the first person who greeted me. We were chatting in
facebook then he invited me in his hometown because there
was an upcoming fiesta. I thought he was just kidding. I
told I him I don’t know where he lived I might get lost.
For the first
time he fetch me in the city where I live. We didn’t meet in
my house. We meet in the mall. I was I guess the only female
who said yes during the time when he spread the invitation.
His closed friend also was there. I’m glad because atleast I
have someone I can talk. During my stay in their place. He
often hold my hand which sends shiver in my nerves. It felt
right holding his hands. He even carry me when we were in
their terace just trying to tease me. I often chased him
inside the house when he tease me. I punch him often in his
arm. I make sure that he won’t get injured. I usually hang
out inside his room just lying on his bed. Usually he lie
beside me, we talk, tease each other and play pillow fights.
The best part
in my stay was during the time that he was angry because his
cousin tease him. I was the bait of course. His cousin did
flirt just to make him angry. His eyes were on fire. He
snatch me from his cousin and we went out of the room.
During my stay my love grow even more. I love hanging out
with him. I was happy most of the time just being with him.
I can’t somehow explained the feeling why I like him so
much. In my last day we have a fight because he want me and
his friend to extend another day in his place but I needed
to go home. It is not because I don’t want to stay its
because of my mom. She called early in the morning. I don’t
want another argument with her.
During our oath taking I gave him a pouch a sign of my love
and inside was a scroll saying goodbye. I know I can never
see him again. I need to face reality that he belong to
someone else. I often think of him most of the time and the
thought of him never fail to make me smile.
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