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I don't find much to blog about. I guess that's because
after years of being out to family I am on the other side of
the turmoil and now not much new is happening. I guess
that's the way things should be but talking about ordinary
things makes for boring blog reading. So instead I read
other gay blogs and advise freely about what to do so that
someday soon the bloggers can talk about the turmoil and
drama in the past tense like I do. But there are still a few
surprises left and that's what this post is about.
In the last few years I have fallen out of the habit of
reading. I used to love reading. Now I just collect books.
My daughter absolutely refuses to buy me any more books
until I start reading the ones I have. It makes no sense to
keep buying books when I never read so now I even limit
myself to browsing bookstores (which I love to do) and
buying books for others. But I'm always checking out the gay
section of the bookstore (if it has one). This can be a sort
of depressing task since new releases of gay books are few
and far between; a pattern started after an explosion of gay
titles in the late 80's and early 90's. Now most of the new
releases have 'erotica' in the title.
That is why I was surprised to come across a new genre that
has been around since at least 2005. That is gay love
stories written for and by gay/bi men. Now lesbians have
long had romantic novels and love stories but I had never
seen one written by men, gay/bi or straight. So out of
curiosity I bought an anthology of gay love stories. I then
spent a delightful evening reading about men in romantic
situations. It was such a guilty pleasure. First, I was
amused by how here this was suppose to be about love and
most of the writers seem to be only able to talk about love
through the context of sex. It was like having to read
between the lines. Why do men, gay/bi or straight, have so
much trouble articulating feelings? And why did most of the
authors write about such an intimate subject in the third
person liking they were gods looking down on mere mortals? I
wondered if the lack of closeness was a cultural instead of
gender thing. Maybe the editor selected the stories based on
what he thought the audience (gay/bi men) would like and he
thought his readers would be turned off by too much emotion
and not enough sex. Anyway, most of the stories were fun and
a few thoroughly enjoyable.
So for Christmas this year I asked for gay love stories.
And this is where the surprise comes in. I felt
uncomfortable asking for this particular genre. First, I
felt the need to make sure my wife was not made
uncomfortable by my reading about gay romance. I explained
how unromantically, is that a word, most of these stories
are. By her reaction, I realized there was no need for me to
be concerned. Next I worried that my son would feel
uncomfortable paying for books with titles like "Best Gay
Love Stories of 2009". Much, much to my surprise...he could
have cared less. I picked out the books then considering the
titles asked him if he would prefer I pay for the books and
he could reimburse me later. He just shrugged off my
concerns and I watched him pay for the books without
hesitation. As I stood waiting in line with my purchases, I
watched my son talking and joking with the cashier and
remembered how I felt like I was having a heart attack the
first time I bought a gay book thirty-some years ago before
my son was even born.
Regards,
Philip |
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