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Today, I tried
to do something I wasn’t able to do for a long time….write.
It seems that my being lost for awhile disabled my heart and
my hands as well, from doing the things I love. I tried
several times but I never got it in me to come up with a
composition that at least would make sense. Until last night
when someone important to me gave me a reason for me to wake
up today and share to those people around me the music my
heart is playing nowadays.
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Fate
“Let’s just trust wherever fate will lead us.” That was what
I heard the boy said when he was talking to this girl whom I
can say became special to him. “Can’t you see? I already did
and I hope that fate would be kind this time”, the girl
replied.
It’s been quite a while since that day wherein she had to
watch a certain person walk away from her. She can still
remember how that moment felt when he said goodbye until
that time when he disappeared from her sight. Knowing her,
at that instant wherein he took his first step, I am sure
she would have embraced him and pleaded for him to stay but
I saw something different in her at that time. I saw a
strong woman who accepted their destiny and who did let go
of the person she loved for him to find his place in this
world. I know she could have told the man that she will
patiently wait for his return but she did not. She felt the
pain every time the man took a step away from her. In every
step, the things that they used to do and those times they
spent together flashed back, that made it harder for her to
breathe. The emotions that she hid in her heart started to
show as little crystals of water started to well up in her
eyes. A tear fell but she stood still and watched him
leaving because she knows that it would be the last time she
will see that man she was suppose to share forever with. She
left that place where a dream was shattered and where a
heart was broken, a road that she will not have the courage
to pass through again in her lifetime.
The first morning was the most difficult part. It’s as if
she was a newly born who does not know who she is, what she
will do and where she will go. For the times that they were
together, she lived in the world of his beloved. She learned
to live his life. Upon waking up, thoughts of him started to
sneak up her thoughts but before it could, she shook it away
and tried to keep herself busy. It worked for some time
until that day when she was with her acquaintances. They
were all around her laughing, shouting, goofing around,
sharing stories and cracking jokes. She was there sitting
down in the chair circling her finger at the top of the
glass wine trying to make a sound out of it. She sighed and
told herself, “I don’t know myself anymore. I don’t know how
to smile, I don’t know what makes me happy, and I don’t
remember what I love to do…it’s as if I lost my identity.”
She then stood up and went home. Upon entering her room, she
did herself a favor and cried it all out. Hoping that
tomorrow would be a better day for her.
Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. She
bravely tried to face each day where no one understands what
she is going through. I can still remember something her
friend told her, “No one has the right to condemn you on how
you repair your heart because no one knows how much you’re
hurting.” She slowly learned how to smile and be with people
but deep inside she is this numb creation that refused to
feel anything. She once again went out with her friends but
this time she learned how to speak and relish the moment.
They were laughing their hearts out when this man came in
but she was too busy to notice. She didn’t know that it was
destiny knocking at her door trying to show her the
beginning of her new journey.
He became a good friend to her, I can see that he was able
to teach her a lot of things and bring back her old self one
day at a time without her noticing it. She began to laugh
again and what really made a mark in me was that day when I
once again saw that glow in her eyes. That glow that all
people who are close to her missed so much, that glow that
would show us how happy she was without even telling us. One
day, she came to me and told me, “I thought it was
impossible at first but that day came when I returned to
that place, the place where I lost myself. The place did not
look the same. When the sun did set during that time, it
looked lonely. But when I went there, the sunset gave a
stunning view that I will never forget.” Then she paused for
a while, took a deep breath and smiled. “I thought I will
never understand. I thought I will never be able to forgive.
I thought that the pain will never go away. But now I
understand that some things will never work if it is not
meant to happen. There will be really some promises that
will be broken in this life and that is the sad fact that we
all have to accept. I have forgiven him for walking away
because I know that just like me he also tried to make it
work. I know he loved me the best way he could. And now that
I have learned to understand and forgive, I can no longer
feel the pain anymore. I won’t be able to go back to this
place if it weren’t for this man who brought me back my
life. He was there when no one else noticed me. He was there
when I had nothing. He held my hand and never let go
throughout this journey. I never thought that there is a man
in this earth who is brave enough to walk with me going to
my past where he wasn’t even a part of just to help me heal.
I don’t need for him to shout for the whole world to hear
how much I mean to him. When he gave me his world, I already
knew. Now this place will be remembered as a place where
there is full of hope and where a heart was made whole by
one brave soul who cares for me so much”, she said.
He was the strangest blessing that came to her life, the
strangest blessing that brought out the best of her. They
put their trust now to fate and all we can do for now is to
hope and pray that fate will be kind to the both of them
this time. Fate will lead them to where they are destined to
be. |
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