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Well, I always knew I was different from all the other girls
- they'd be drooling over their "hot guys", while I was
playing footy with the "hot guys." I'd come home covered in
mud from playing at school. As I got older, I got into
motors and developing tomboyish hobbies, for example, cars,
wrestling, footy at lunchtime, checking out girls... I knew
I was a lesbian [actually, I prefer gay] from the age of
about 8 or 9, because I didn't really get into the whole
makeup, girlie, fashion stuff. But I didn't come to the
conclusion that "yes, I'm gay" until I was about 13.
I was raped by my male best friend of about 10 years, and
that did it. I'd already started checking out girls, but
this did it. About six
months afterwards, I came out to my mum, who went into
denial. I'm 15 now, so I've been living with a non-accepting
parent for just over two years.
I came out to my stepfather only a few weeks ago, and he
reacted in a positive way. He is a pillar of support for me,
and we talk about my "gay issues" whenever I want, as long
as my mum isn't around!
Basically, to this day, my mum doesn't believe I'm gay, and
I can't
really prove it - just like a hetero can't prove that
they're str8. Mum
asked me if I'm sure I'm gay, and how I knew. Some people
think I've had sex with girls to know I'm gay - but that's
like saying a str8 person is only str8 if they have sex with
the opposite sex.
I'm also planning a fake marriage to one of my close
friends, who is a
bisexual. We're going to perform this at school. It's going
to be great, because apparently I love this female friend.
Well, I do, but she doesn't know that... my life is a bad
story made good again.
Just when I though I'd hit rock bottom, I floated to the
surface. For
all the closeted youth out there, you will never know
someone's reaction [in detail] to your "coming out" until
you tell them about it. Take a couple of steps out of your
comfort zone.
My mum's homophobic - bad reaction. My surprisingly
accepting stepfather - good reaction. You never know until
you try. Trust me. God bless you all on your fabulous
journey. Amen.
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